Internet forums have become a very peculiar place filled with the most abnormal individuals I have ever seen. That might seem hypocritical coming from a guy such as myself, who routinely speaks in third person or who trips over lamp posts for the laughs of his peers. But yes this kettle can tonight laugh at the pot.
To really understand the tremondous change to the world which happened since the internet was launched, one has to look at what the world was like before. Or as i'd like to call BEP (Before easy porn). Back then the peculiar people, socially inept and lonely individuals were faced with only two real challenges in life. Conform or become a goth. Everyone strived to be popular and it was the time of 'selling out' and 'sucking up' to become popular and not sit alone at night watching every episode of Johnny Carson (thats for my american fans) or watchdog.
But now with the invention of the internet its become okay to be a recluse and a loner. All you have to do is click on an internet chatroom or an internet forum and you're filled with an audience of hundreds, even if no one actually knows you. It can be strangely addictive and powering to the people who's only communication before hand with people his own age was 'give me your lunch money', or 'lets flush this gits head down the toliet Johnny'. Anyone who spends more than 5 hours online a day needs a life, a hobby, a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I'm included in this list.
Scared about going outside? Scared about one on one social situations? Not sure if you have any friends? Weary about communicating? Troubled by crime or the reactions of others? Why worry! Fire up your computer and go towards popularville forums where you'll become the Fonzie of the net world as long as you have good blending skills (someone who can make a pretty picture with 'cool' graphics and a snazzy title) and can name every mariah carey single on everyone of her albums.
Yes it is indeed a wacky world down there. Where suddenly being unpopular and socially inept is suddenly the in thing to be! But of course they don't mention any of this and actually pretend to be cool. But no one wants to mention the fact that:
"Wow Johnny has made 6,000 posts in a month...that's cool" - it's cool? It's cool he's been online that much to write that large amount of bollocks? Nope he needs a LIFE and to go OUTSIDE. But no one wants to say that because they'll have to look at themselves in the same way. It's the forbidden secret. Where uncool is masked over and made to look cool as the entire population fools themselves they're onto something.
"Lickle Daisy has got her own forum family filled with friends!!" yep another forum filled activity i've seen during my times. Forum members making a 'family' contained full of other members on that particular forum. At first I thought it was the most needy thing i have ever seen. Empty, lonely individuals wanting to feel accepted on an internet forum. Now I feel...that its still the most needy thing I have ever seen.
IF YOU'RE ONLINE IN AN INTERNET FORUM FOR MORE THAN 4 HOURS A DAY WORRYING ABOUT MAKING BLENDS, WORRYING ABOUT WHO YOUR FORUM DADDY COULD BE, HOPING THAT THE MOD MIGHT NOT CLOSE YOUR THREAD ABOUT TORRENTS...YOU DON'T HAVE A LIFE. That might sound mean and hell and i'll be honest my life is a pretty non event most days through laziness but whilst I might have shaky foundations I don't go to such lengths these other people do. And how can anyone kid themselves this isn't true? If you're on the net that much you've created such relationships online something is troubling and worrying. Deny it all you want, deep down you know its true. The internet forum is a womb to these people. It's comforting with people like themselves sharing their lives together. It's addicting a world of popularity and once they have to turn that computer off reality hits a large slap across their faces. In the end of the day real life people won't care how many hours and days you wasted posting mindless and mind numblingly boring posts. Will all the forum people travel to your funeral in the end of the day? Will your 'forum poster of the year' award mean squat ever in real life? Sadly not.
Of course having spent a large amount of times in internet forums mostly through laziness and mostly to have an audience to share some of my jokes with, I developed an understanding of the different individuals who live in these forums. I'll give you a run down of them.
'I'M A HOMOSEXUAL! LOOK AT ME!!! I'M GAY!!' - This character is in reality a confused young teenager about his sexuality. He'll continously make gay remarks and post several hundred pictures of half naked men. This is all an attempt to strengthen his own waivering belief that he is in fact gay. He wants to convince people he's actually gay in a vain attempt to somehow convince himself he's gay. Most gay people I know don't pull out pictures of half naked men and show them to me. They know its stupid to force their own beliefs and tastes on someone else. They don't walk about with a t shirt saying 'im gay!'. The 'LOOK AT ME I'M GAY' characters are so desperate to be accepted by society and more importantly by themselves as gay that it makes their whole mission in life to finally accept themselves. Like most people in a forum they are confused and mixed up.
Examples of such a character in real life: Elton John, Julian Clary
'I'M QUITTING! I HATE THIS PLACE! I'm back...' This character is also what one might describe as a social leper. They're at their lowest point in their lives and they want to feel better. They become attached to the internet forum so much that as i've described before it literally becomes a comforting womb to them. They're popular, they escape the harshness of life, people will really listen to them. They decide they want to leave either to get people begging for them to stay (which will boost their lowly ego) or they actually want to escape and start spending their time dealing with the real issues in life. But of course they can't break free. They have to go back to the comforting place and so eventually do with a huge 'i'm back' thread or secretly just re-enter hoping no one will criticise them for crawling back to the well of depression. I know of one guy who was a moderator and he stated he hated spending so much time in the place that he was quitting for good, he actually banned himself too so he wouldn't come back. Of course he did come back only a few weeks later. This isn't a knock on a character who was actually pretty funny at time, but just an indication of internet forums and the pull of them.
Examples of such a character in real life: Ashley Cole, Steven Gerrard
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"I'M A BITCH!! I OWN THIS PLACE!" - This character is an unusual one for sure. They pretend to be a powerful force in the forum, they particularly hate 'newbies' who come into the forum and spoil their 'golden age'. The golden age they usual refer to is the time they felt the most popular and most accepted in their entire life. New people come into the so called womb and mess up this 'great time'. Leaving the poster extremely bitter about losing their friends (who probably will have turned the computer off) and their sense of power. They spend the rest of the time attacking people who threaten their power and sense of position and continue building walls up to protect their dwindling 'family' of friends. Usually by making exclusive threads for only 'certain individuals' to post in, or by making an exclusive 'group' which they control the admission into. Thus making them feel better about themselves again.
Yes internet forums are collectively a place for the lonely and unstable to gather (hell i was there wasn't i...) but the above describes the person who an internet forum becomes a competitive place. Where being with similar people and being popular isn't enough. They have to the BEST. Such as bragging about winning poster of the year awards.
"...................................." - This person literally has nothing interesting to say and literally has no personality. They become the person who pipes up with smiley emoticons, bowing emoticons, T4P (Thanks for post) or the more well known 'hey can i join' (whenever theres some sort of invitation). Probably through some sort of unfortunate incident destroying all their confidence or shyness and wanting to feel accepted. Even on an internet forum they are nervous and want to fit in.
"LOOK ITS MY OWN THREAD...WITTY IS ME" - This character broadcasts himself 24/7. He's probably the closest description to myself you can put. But instead of merely taking the piss out of people as I did so this person doesn't want to do that. They want to the centre of attention continously. And because the person is popular the 'no personality' people seen above will come into the thread and applaud this person even though their posts are boring and predictable.
"I HATE YOU!!" - It's been said that winning an argument on the internet is like winning the special olympics, you're still a retard. Which is kinda true though i still argue on the internet mostly because I feed my ego because I'm so awesome and destroy so many people. But the 'I HATE YOU' characters are amusing. Whenever they feel insecure they usually explode without any warning attacking people for little or no reason probably because in reality they are bullied and on the forum they can feel like they are the MAN.
Regardless of the response to this post my question will always be
'So you think 10,000+ posts is good and healthy?
Do you think spending that many hours on the net is good
Do you have any issues in real life...in all honesty?
Why aren't you out tonight? They'll whine about homework, having no money, or that theres nothing on TV. But they'll know deep down the only thing dragging them back to little internet forum is the thrill of popularity, power, acceptance...the three things in real life they can't ever have because they never do anything to improve their REAL LIFE.
Internet forums have grown a lot. Hierachies exist with the older members protecting their 'power' (if only they knew how pathetic that was...), little clans or famillies exist so other posters can feel more popular even though deep down they don't know fuck all about themselves (it's again all about feeling more popular than they are in reality).
Of course not everyone on an internet forum is a retard which i'm sure i'll be bashed for implying. But look at the above, if you have no issues in real life then fine you're normalish. I go to forums mostly to attack the above people (maybe that makes me weirdo and stupider...i wouldn't argue). But the next time you google and see an internet forum go onto it. And see the peculiar 24/7 little worlds for yourselves. It's an experience i'll tell you...A pretty damn funny one!
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